Some days…

Most of my days are “some days…” 

Some days are really awesome, some days I wake up on time, I get my coffee and head to work. I leave work feeling good, I drive to get my kids and they talk and laugh.  We come home and smile. We play or watch something funny, we laugh.  Daddy gets home early, we eat dinner (together, like ALL 4 at the same time together) we talk and laugh and do what we do and I go to bed feeling whole.

Some days suck like a Dyson on steroids…I wake up late and forget deodorant.  I could, should, think ” I’ll run and grab some deodorant on my lunch break.” But not this some day… nope…instead i think, oh I’ll use some peppermint oil…on my armpits…that i shaved…cause that’ll hide any smell, right? And it does! while simultaneously causing a fire-like, burning pain that causes me to walk down the hall flapping my arms like a flamingo in heat.  Then I realize I forgot my lunch.  I have meetings til 1 at which point I’m beyond hangry.  I grab garbage food, they screw up my order and I become hangrier.  I leave work, stop for gas, pick up kids late, they scream and fight all the way home. I have no dinner plan, no one likes what I cook, everyone is NOT TIRED but me and I go to bed way too late feeling like a vacuumed car mat-just sucked dry.

Some days I wake up and the day just goes and I just go with it.  Nothing crazy happens, nothing pisses me off and nothing makes my heart smile. Life happens and I go to bed feeling …well nothing, I just go to bed.

The only “somedays” that really hurt me are the ones that never happen.

SOMEDAY I’ll be skinnier

SOMEDAY I’ll be prettier

SOMEDAY I’ll be a better mom, a better wife, a better friend

SOMEDAY I’ll be …someone else 

Some days I wonder, how long it will take me to realize that yesterday was some day, today is some day?

The only day that is not some day, is tomorrow. When we try to mix some day with the future all we get is sorrow.  

So instead of waiting for “someday”  I am going to try to embrace some days.  Learning to love some days is harder than living for “someday”.  Still, I prefer the hard road filled with occasional wholeness, sucked dry, and nothingness (with a space between some and day), to waiting for “someday” with no space, cause as CCR says…”someday never comes”