Winter is long for all that reside here, but winter as a hostage seems endless.

The assailants have both taken a liking to down hill skiing (that sport where you strap long apparatuses on your feet and find the highest snow covered hills to speed down, hoping not to end in injury) so they dont seem to mind as much as me. Unfortunately I’m out of livestock to sell so there will be no sliding down slopes this weekend, which means I’ll be indoors with them- Lord save me!

I have been under the weather this week, as have both assailants on and off, which makes for a long week. Both seem to be feeling somewhat better which sounds good…unless you’re a hostage 😭.

Most assailants when ill will ask for chicken soup, or various other comfort foods. But when I asked the man child what he would like, he informed me he would like beef Plov. I am aware of talks of Russian meddling in elections, and facebook and all the issues involving the Ukraine…I just never expected it to come so close to home. I secretly used my “witchcraft” aka Pinterest to find a recipe…I even found one to use my instant pot that my co-hostage gifted me. When my Male hostage taker suspected my using the device he grew agitated and questioned me… WHY? I explained it would take 3 or more hours on the cooking heat apparatus, only 50 minutes in my device. He seemed intrigued, and asked “does the recipe specify to use whole garlic bulb sliced in half?” I said yes…”does it use these spices….” I said yes. “Does it CLEARLY STATE NOT to stir the rice!” I said yes with a sweaty brow and hope…he thought for a moment and said…ok use the instant pot. PHEWWWWW another hostage metaphorical bullet dodged!

The female assailant is in the shower…I keep hearing her talking to someone…and they do her EVERY command! She yells from the shower “Hey Google, play Boy in the Bubble by Alec Benjamin” and…within seconds I hear a voice saying “ok, playing blah blah blah on YouTube music” ahhhhhh the YT entity strikes again!!!! Even more frightening, I hear the manchild doing it also! Does this mean…could it be true…is there another hostage!?! Every night I hear it, but every night when one of them is done, I check the bathroom for more hostages and only find towels and clothes in need of laundering…I am at a loss. I wish they would tell this new hostage (apparently named Google) to wash the laundry and cook!