Day 5241 of hostage situation
Day 9,865,743 of quarantine
(Math not adding up? Ya well I used common core to calculate it so suck it up buttercup!)

Since my last journal entry in mid February alot has changed…yet I seem to have no adventures to speak of? Its perplexing to say the least. I fear the assailants may have done experiments on me in my sleep and erased my memory? Its almost as if we’ve done literally NOTHING for over a month??
The assailants are no longer going TO school and I’m no longer going TO work…we are all doing it from home which is going SUPER SWELL(as my earlier math demonstrates)
The male hostage taker is now taller than both of us hostages and the female is…cranky!
I know I spoke earlier of the food they consumed…silly me! I vastly underestimated their eating capabilities as the last 6 weeks have proved! We may be foraging for seeds and berries if they keep this up! Its a shame Ramen noodles, cosmic brownies and ham sandwiches don’t grow on trees🤔
I have been subjected to the continuous torture of nonstop anime and electric guitar playing for approximately 1 million days give or take 999,955…
Tonight while the assailants were busy I spoke with my former hostage, aka my mother, and she made mention of May 25th to which I excitedly exclaimed ITS MAY 25TH ALREADY!?! I was a tad disheartened to discover she was speaking of a future date… apparently, despite all hopes and prayers…. its still April…