I’m not letting fear control me, I’m making conscious choices and I’m living my life. My life may not be as glamorous or involve as many distractions, but don’t think for ONE second I’m not living my life to the fullest. MY fullest I’ve learned, is days spent with my family. Learning the things I never had the chance to, laughing and fighting, living and crying and most of all learning and ❤ loving, and then maybe fighting some more😜

When my oldest was born I got 12 weeks of maternity leave, my youngest i got 6 weeks. Since then I have spent 5 days a week away from them for 14 years+. Now ,for 19 weeks I have spent nearly every day waking up with them here, working with them here, and going to bed with them here. To say its been all sunshine and rainbows would be a lie…but to say these are days I have been blessed with that I otherwise would never have seen is truer than true and I will choose to be forever grateful for getting this time with them.
We have had a few small getaways, away from crowds and with our small circle mostly. There are days i feel like I’m going to go crazy, just like there always have been, and likely always will be. The difference is that I’ve learned that although a break is needed from time to time, I’m finding I need those breaks less often than I used to think I did. Its not only absence that makes the heart grow fonder, its also, if not moreso, being together. I want things to get better, I want my kids to get to someday, hopefully sooner rather than later, have a normal school experience. I can’t say I want things to go back to the way they were, because back then i didn’t know that I was missing out on LIFE because I didn’t realize what I had right in front of me.