This was the first poem that I ever wrote (that I remember). I was 12 years old and wrote it shortly after my dad died.
Yesterday I saw a picture of your face
I thought and I remembered your comforting embrace
Now I wonder where you are
Living my life without you, I know it will be hard
But as awake each morning, rise to face the day
I won’t forget your love, I know it will always stay
And even though you aren’t here
Your spirit lives on so dear
A dash of dark a splash of pain
Make a well and add insane
Mix in dreary and murky tear zest
Stir it up as it crushes your chest
Scoop it up bit by bit and let it sit to dry
You can’t get it all no matter how hard you try
When the last of its dried and the darkness encased
You’ll think they are gone, your troubles erased
But new ones rise up along with ones that you missed
a Neverending series of cataclysmic plot twists
the pain is too bitter, nothing can drown out the screams and wails
Toss it aside another recipe fail
I don’t think we start out broken but I also don’t think we start out whole and become broken by life.
I think we start out incomplete, like a started puzzle.
We take pieces and add them as we go.
Sometimes pieces we needed are lost and we must grieve. That space can only be filled with memories.
Sometimes it takes years to realize that pieces we thought fit, just don’t.
When we have the strength, we remove those pieces.
Then we have a choice…search and fill those spaces with pieces that truly fit,
Or learn to love the pieces we have and accept that if something comes along that is meant to be part of our puzzle, there will always be space for it.
The key I think is to never leave those spaces empty…fill them with love, gratitude, kindness, hope and good things.
When a piece comes along that we choose to add, all those good things needn’t be removed, they simply become the glue that hold our pieces in place ❤
I’m sick of fighting, Tired of trying
Shedding tears with my hopes slowly dying
Caught in a whirlwind with no escape
Watching others dreams take shape
Feeling Alone, weary , and filled with regret
Pondering intentions that remain unmet
Days sadly wasted with no great stories to tell
I’ve created my own living version of hell
Hell wasn’t a place I wanted to be
And the space that I build is a product of me
I had fears to confront, pain to unfold
A life full of stories that needed to be told
So I packed up my pity and threw it away
A life lived intentional begins today
So now…
I keep fighting, keep trying
I still shed tears but my hope is far from dying
If I get caught in a whirlwind, I’ll get out
My dreams will take shape, I have no doubt
I know I’m not alone thinking about choices I’ve made
And I look to the future unafraid
Days spent reflecting and growing in grace
It may not be Heaven, but I love this space
Out with the old and in with the new
It’s not something I’m sure I’m ready to do
The old is gone, I cannot change that
But new means you’re no longer here to chat
New Year they say brings new hope
So why do I feel liking I’m walking a tightrope
I wish you all well, I truly do
But please allow me to still feel blue
My grief doesn’t pause for the holiday
I wish I didn’t feel this way
But I need room and space to grieve
I cannot accept joy I’m not ready to receive
Give me grace as I travel alone down this road
When my grieving no longer requires all of my soul,
I’ll rise like the Phoenix as a new season unfolds
pickled poetry 