I shattered it all
Hundreds of pieces flying at the wall
I watched it crumble
Laying on the ground in a messy jumble
Darkness, envy, despair and doubt
Chains that bound, strewn about
Broken dreams, joys unfound
Regrets and shame scattered on the ground
Who I am vs who I should be
Looking in the mirror not liking what I see
Pieces that remained I crushed even smaller
With every crack and every shatter
I could feel myself standing just a little bit taller
No more waiting for the chains to be lifted
Joy and peace are never gifted
So I learned to find joy in the tiniest clock ticks
Stopped seeing myself as broken, as something to fix
I shattered my doubts
Stomped on the lies
That told me who I needed to be and why
I embraced who I am and let her run free
And discovered I’m capable of much more than I believed.

A newbie in town, clearly not from around here, he wasn’t welcomed with open arms, but suspicion and fear.
He made his way,working hard for little pay.
He didn’t need much, just food and a place to stay
On Sundays he went to church but never the same one and the people said “how odd! just pick one and be done!”
He was heard telling townsfolk “this isn’t right, this isn’t the way” and the congregations declared him a danger “he’s leading people astray”
He stood with the marginalized and walked hand in hand, as they marched to be heard. The churches declared him a formidable foe, a servant of the devil , the lowest of low.
“Where are you from and why are you here?”, they asked him one day, “Show us your papers or we’ll have you taken away!”
“The clothes you’re wearing don’t fit the norm, you’re promoting defiance, consider yourself warned!
Our Savior is coming imagine what he’ll say when he sees you carrying on and acting this way! Get yourself right with God by following our lead, we’re your only hope, we are what you need.”
He shook his head and calmly stated, “Did your savior not die for ALL he created? Did he not tell you judge not, to leave it to him? Why is my love angering you so? Why do you use his name in vain, by the hatred you sow?”
The audacity shocked them and fueled their fire! “How dare this nobody question our faith, how dare he tell us what OUR savior requires!”
Laws were passed and the witchhunt began, to rid the town of all who were not like them. “It’s a matter of safety, it’s for the greater good, we must protect our people in this neighborhood.”
So he, and those he stood with, were forced to leave, or face persecution from those who “believe”.
Time passed on and the town was quiet. A like minded haven for the truly “faithful”.

Years later the Savior DID come and as people across the world, so did the townspeople drop to their knees. Blinded by his light they could not see, they whispered to each other, “our time has come we drove out the heathens, so happy our Lord will be!”
When finally he spoke his words confused…”Why have you forsaken me?” And the townspeople gasped…”but Lord we have made our town clean all here are worthy!” They cried in rebuke. And his reply came as the brightness subsided and their eyes were opened. In front of them stood the newbie they’d run out of town …

“I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.”

I don’t normally need disclaimers on my poems, but I’m going to add one to this. This isn’t knocking teachers, or students or sports. It’s not knocking college or degrees or good jobs or success… its not knocking anyone. It’s simply about the expectations of society placed on our younger generation and carried on through to everyone. You may read it and find something that makes you angry or makes you think what I’m saying isn’t fair…I’d ask that if that happens you take a step back and realize the words don’t apply to everyone everywhere, but they do apply to someone, somewhere.

The race began and you could barely crawl
Faster they shouted, don’t stumble don’t fall
Hit each checkpoint one by one
Don’t skip around, can’t start THIS til THAT is done
You’re being critiqued so do as we say
The answers not right unless you do it this way
You’re falling behind keep up with the group
You need to be aligned, a uniform Troup
Its not Knowledge that’s power but the letter grade
Yet you just need a D to stay in the parade
Play in sports to earn admiration
Score score score to build a reputation
Finding the IN crowd and getting a place
Ensures you’re noticed and helped in this race
You’ll be tested to see where you rank
Do real good and it’s money in the bank
Success is measured in dollars and cents
You’ll learn everything except common sense
Critical thinking? We don’t have time
Figure it out when it’s on your own dime
Go to college get a degree
get a job get a title get money money money
When this race is over you’ll see how it’s scored
Then you can join the masses to be shunned or adored
Character and integrity take a back seat
The world wants to see money under your feet
Before you know it you’re in another race
Keeping up with the Jones’ trying to save face
And race after race did you ever get time, to explore, to choose?
What makes you happy, what do You want to do?
Is your success measured by the happiness inside
Or are you leaving it for someone else to decide?

Out with the old and in with the new
It’s not something I’m sure I’m ready to do
The old is gone, I cannot change that
But new means you’re no longer here to chat
New Year they say brings new hope
So why do I feel liking I’m walking a tightrope
I wish you all well, I truly do
But please allow me to still feel blue
My grief doesn’t pause for the holiday
I wish I didn’t feel this way
But I need room and space to grieve
I cannot accept joy I’m not ready to receive
Give me grace as I travel alone down this road
When my grieving no longer requires all of my soul,
I’ll rise like the Phoenix as a new season unfolds

She was an Enchanted melody echoing off the hillside
A fiery storm brewing in the distance
But Like waves push at the sand, eroding the shoreline
So did the days and years crash into her soul
So she wandered a Labyrinth constructed by pain
On a constant search for her spark that always ended in vain
Entranced by a demon disguised as a friend
Deeper into the maze she would gradually descend
Until at last she dares to explore
And begins to believe she is destined for more
The labyrinth she sees was not meant to confine but rather a place to leave her troubles behind
The veil very slowly lifts to reveal,
no friend by her side but a beast concealed
Reality slowly overtakes the illusion
And removes the layers built by years of confusion
With each chip that falls a sliver of light glistens against the Labyrinth walls
The gentle kiss of the moon she thinks it must be, yet though she looks no moon can she see
As chip upon chip breaks off and falls
The light leads the way out of the labyrinth walls
She emerges alone with no beast by her side
At ease for once knowing, she’s left it inside
That light that guided her out of the maze had been and would be with her, always

I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you said you felt like you would drown
I wish I had given you permission to just break down
When you clearly needed something more
I wish I had helped you find what you were looking for
I’m sorry I listened when you said I can’t do that
When you didn’t believe in yourself I showed you how to make others believe but I never told you it was more important for YOU to believe
I didn’t know how to stop the noise
So I taught you how to just avoid
When you thought out loud saying i am not ok
I redirected your attention to another’s pain

I listened this time, really heard you
And it’s time to unlearn the old things I taught you
No more avoiding the noise So loud
Face it head on, strong and proud
Others pain will always exist
It’s ok to acknowledge it but its not yours to fix
What others think is out of your hands
You’re not on this earth to gather fans
When you’re feeling like you need more
Find your calling, live, explore
Break downs are inevitable, expect they’ll occur
Unpack the pain, sit with your hurt
Know when to ask for help and when to get up and brush off the dirt
Unlearn the old ways you used to survive
That’s no longer the goal, now it’s time to thrive

Towards the moon I gravitate
As it slips away I slowly fade
Retreating to sleep as the sun draws near
Enveloped in light I shrink within
Until night pulls me in again
Swaddled in darkness my fears subside
Twilight lures me, I am the tide
All things muted in shadows of gray
Suddenly you’re not so far away
Heaven and earth merge when light withdraws
And my heart can feel yours when night falls
My anguish absorbed by the dark of night
Between dusk and dawn my soul finds light

I cannot control the politics in this country.  I cannot control who is deceitful, who isn’t or anyone in between.   I am not the girl who is going to change the world, I am going to focus on my little world here.  That doesn’t mean you can walk all over me, it doesn’t mean I won’t state my mind, it doesn’t mean I won’t do everything in my power to ensure that my kids know where I stand and what I  will and won’t tolerate.  Call me a snowflake,  call me whatever the F#@$ you want, but while you’re busy reading, studying,  posting your theories on fb, parler, mewe, Twitter, whatever…I’m seeing it and scrolling on past.  See I used to get really worked up, like REALLY… over the political bs, and it was only adding to the stress I already have because  #life.  So I made myself a promise that I wasn’t going to engage anymore , I only have so much energy within my being and I wasn’t going to waste anymore of it on something I ultimately cannot control.  So for the last 8 weeks, I’ve scrolled past political posts, I’ve avoided conversations,  I’ve maybe had a few here and there but not many. 

    I already know what some of you are thinking/want to say…so let me stop you… gonna just say it in all caps for y’all in the back

POSTING YOUR OPINION ON SOCIAL MEDIA ISN’T GOING TO CHANGE ANYTHING

so in the same regard, me commenting isn’t going to change anything either.  I literally have no energy left for this shit show…if I decide I want to make a change it’ll be in the conversations I have with people, in raising my kids, and in how I choose to treat people.  I reserve the right to rejoin the social media political shitshow anytime I want #freedom , but for now, its been pretty freaking nice ignoring you all ❤

I don’t care who you voted for, this right here is the FRAUD you all are missing… the human “Christian” who KNOWS God’s plan instead of trusting his plan. I wish you could see the Pandoras box you are opening up by claiming to know why anything happens and/or claiming to know that it was God’s will and not the free will that humankind has. You understand by saying these things you’re telling every Christian who disagrees with your POLITICS that they are REJECTED by your religion and for them that means THEIR God.. the one they have a personal relationship with that you do not, nor cannot, know or judge!

So if Trump wins God has shed his Grace on us and given us a true leader…if Biden wins then God has punished us for our wickedness… idk call me crazy but I don’t think that’s how it works?? So are you saying God was punishing the Jewish people slaughtered by Hitler? That HE perpetrated that? Do you have ANY comprehension of how YOUR refusal to accept that free will of humans is responsible for the outcomes WE create, is literally turning people away from God?? I’ll give you a clue its the HUMAN SINNER in you …so STOP claiming you know God’s will because you do NOT. Maybe the wickedness God is looking to end is your belief that you know his plan!

I think we can all agree that these days, especially on social media things are divisive. We all have friends, who we love but may not see eye to eye with, posting things we feel strongly about.
The thing is, conversations on social media posts completely remove the personal aspect and we forget to respect the PERSON we are talking AT. I say AT because let’s be honest, in a heated social media debate we are rarely talking WITH someone, we are talking AT them. We rarely have any interest in hearing their viewpoint, we’ve already decided they are wrong, crazy, misguided etc.
Social media isn’t all bad, it gives us a chance to spew, to share moments, to ask, to learn, to connect. What I think we need to remember is that we should treat our friends (yes even on social media) as we would want them to treat us. If I don’t want people arguing with my posts, I shouldnt argue on theirs. If I don’t want snide comments, I shouldn’t give them. I am guilty of this, so I’m not preaching… I’m sharing because I learned a lesson. I commented when I knew it wasn’t wanted, and I knew I wouldn’t want the same done to me. And it got a little heated (like low key heated, but heated) and I realized I was in the wrong. So, I reached out via a private message and I apologized, and I received in return, grace, and we moved on. Talking one on one to a person can really be whats needed. There is no POST anymore…now its a PERSON and if you are connected on social media, there should be a reason…talking one on one just might remind you of it.