I just feel this weight on my chest
and if I stop to breathe the weight falls further
and the pressure increases.
I look at the trees and the leaves and peace for a moment
as I feel my breath slowly release…

but as I release the weight presses further
and the breaths become harder
and again the pressure increases

So I busy myself with the meaningless chores
of day to day life that leaves my mind empty
my feelings ignored

I find a moment of joy in a small simple thing
but before I can savor the sweet breath of relief
my mind pushes the weight further down until I’m physically weak

But tonight will be different I’m going to fight
I tell myself, as I wish, for just one peaceful night…
inside my head
Its  not the outside that’s bustling and busy
its the depths of my soul, my mind that is weary

I don’t know how to tame the war in my head
I walk through the day feeling emotionally dead
And so the mind spirals and shows me my flaws
I don’t need to hear it
I’m aware of my faults
but my brain keeps digging at my heart with razor sharp claws
So I call it a day
another winningless night
I go to bed weary but I promise myself…
tomorrow I’ll wake up and fight

And I do…
Tomorrow
and I do…
The next day
And every day that I do
I win
I…WIN!!