​I wanted for so long to post this, but I didnt.  I was afraid to.  I feared being judged, ridiculed, and upsetting people. I’m still hesitant, but I’m doing it anyway. This is MY blog, my space to write and I didn’t wait some 30+ years to write things that everyone wants to hear. **Let me also note that you too may have strong feelings one way or another about this topic, you too may have felt hurt by others words, the DIFFERENCE, is that I never claimed or insinuated that your political beliefs undermined or negated your faith.**   I write what I feel, and here’s what I feel:

God didn’t vote, he’s not an American, or did I miss that ? Yet i see so many who after the election said “Gods people have spoken, God answered our prayers…etc.”  

I guess this excludes me, and leaves me wondering if I missed the boat somewhere? Since I don’t agree, does that mean I’m not Christian? I must have been sick on “how Jesus wants you to vote day” during Sunday School?  Does this mean the prayers of Christians in countries who are ACTUALLY being persecuted weren’t enough? He didn’t answer theirs …but he answered yours?  Apparently  America is now his chosen land!  I have so much to learn.

 Do you have any idea how presumptious and self righteous it is to assume that God agrees with your political beliefs? I have to assume you do not.   This is based soley on comments and posts I’ve seen saying Trump is a “Godly” man, and that liberals can’t possibly be believers (and those are the kindest comments I’m willing to repeat ) There is hate coming from both sides, I know that, but as Christians claiming God’s victory with Donald Trump -you need to know the impact of what you are saying.

“go and make believers of all men”(epic fail in my opinion, don’t fret,  you’ll be relieved as you continue to read and discover that I am obviously “the enemy”)  

 Let me tell you what reading these things would  have done to me had I  NOT  been strong in my faith: 

I would have (thankfully my faith isn’t in Christians, my faith is in God) turned my back in disgust, and in ANGER i would have said this:

  I guess I was not who i was supposed to be in your circle,  I didn’t qualify to be on ‘the team’, but that’s OK, just the opinion of a heathen (obviously not a  Christian) who doesn’t matter because I foolishly spent less time looking for scripture quotes to support my righteousness than I did loving the people God gave me to love.  You’ve shown me the error of my ways, you can pray for my salvation but this isn’t a cry for help or open discussion on how to turn my hardened evil heart around.  You’ve made it quite clear that when I stand before God, it won’t be enough to know my savior and ask for forgiveness.  I will be harshly judged for standing up for “sin” (aka, believing my fellow humans have rights and loving them).   So I guess Christianity wasn’t where I was meant to be.  I believed in love and left the judging to God, foolish, foolish girl.  So give yourself a pat on the back… you have saved yourself and Christianity as a whole from being tainted by yet another sinner.    

Fortunately for me, I don’t rely on your approval, I won’t stand before YOU on judgement day.  I may be wrong, horribly misguided, but that’s between me and God.  I have spent countless nights praying, and talking to God, asking for guidance and doing my best to follow what he has put into my heart.  I don’t know anymore than you do if God left free will to its own accord or if he played a role in this election.  I have to wonder if maybe you who say that God has spoken are spot on?  Maybe God answered your prayers and I’m completely off base and will have to face my Lord and explain how I could have so wrongly misinterpreted what Jesus taught. 

But…

Here’s where, if I havent lost you yet, I’m sure I’ll lose most of you now: Perhaps I’m not crazy, maybe God answered your prayers, but not in the way you think…maybe he wanted to see just how many of his followers would be willing to stand beside Him, stand up for Him,  as he was taunted, beaten, rejected, feared, hated…  “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40

I am no expert, I am as imperfect as they come.  You may not see me in church on Sunday morning, but do not DARE to judge my faith and do NOT undermine it by telling me that to be a Christian I must KNOW, because I do not and cannot.

I am painfully noticing and will continue to notice the mess that is life..  I will do my best to listen to my heart and not be swayed by those who tell me I am not part of ‘their team’.  Am I certain? NO! Am I SURE? NO!… but I have FAITH, scary, and uncertain faith.  My heart feels strongly that fear breeds hate and love drowns out both.  All your certainty, which I see lying beneath the guise of “faith”  will never take that from me.